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If you haven’t seen the movie or read the book, “He’s Just Not That Into You” you should. Though the movie is light-hearted and somewhat comical, it addresses some very serious issues with single women accepting when a man they like is just not that into them. But what about when a woman is just not that into a man?
There are a lot of games that are played by single men and women that make dating unnecessarily complicated. Imagine a world where everyone was completely honest. If a girl did not want you to have her number she said exactly that. Could you handle it? Is it harder for a man to accept when a woman is not interested than it is for a woman to accept when a man does not want her?
It takes a lot of courage to approach someone and ask them to spend time with you. It’s not likely that women are going to start being blatantly honest anytime soon, but there are a few things we do to show you upfront we are not attracted to you.
You should be able to tell how interested a woman is from the very first conversation you have with her. Women do not hide their affections well. If they want you to ask them out it will be obvious. Does she seem like she is in a rush? Is she helping the conversation progress or are you the only one talking? Is she smiling at you?
When a woman wants to talk to you she will make the time. If she is rushing past you or telling you she really has to get somewhere, chances are she has no interest in ever seeing you again. Don’t try and stop her let her go. Some women may truly be shy however, if you have made the first step by approaching her, she will come up with something to say to you to keep you near her longer. If the first conversation you have with her is stagnant and uninteresting why would you want to pursue anything farther? A woman smiling at you does not automatically mean she is interested. But a woman not smiling at you definitely means she is not interested. Don’t waste your time.
If a woman tells you she does not give out her number but she will take yours, generally speaking this is not a good sign. It is simple; if you are someone that interests her she wants to hear from you. She can’t hear from you if you have no way of contacting her. It is safe to consider this a blow off. Don’t wait by the phone. That way if she does call you, you will be pleasantly surprised instead of being disappointed.
You meet a woman and she tells you she has a boyfriend. This might be true. But most women will tell a man they have a boyfriend even when they don’t, to avoid hurting his feelings. So how can you tell the difference? Most women even if they have a boyfriend, if they are interested in you, they will give you a way to see them again. They might invite you out with a group of friends or tell you to send them an email. But in any case proceed with caution when dealing with a woman that is involved if you are looking to pursue something meaningful. Even if she does end up leaving her boyfriend for you, she might do the same thing to you later down the road.
Before you approach a woman try to make eye contact with her. You can tell a lot about how the conversation is going to go by the way she looks at you. If she keeps eye contact with you for longer than necessary, nine times out of ten she is interested. Avoid any girl that looks at you and immediately looks away and doesn’t make eye contact again.
Honestly dating does not have to be as complicated as we make it. The goal is to find someone that you like, that likes you back. Is it really the thrill of the chase that keeps us pursuing people that are clearly not interested? It is true that not everyone is going to want you from the moment they see you and you may need to exert some effort until they see you for the great person you are. However, be reasonable. Don’t make excuses for them. You are allowing them to waste your time. There are too many single people in St. Louis for you to be stuck on the one person that doesn’t want you.