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Question: I'm a young woman that has recently come to terms with her bisexuality. Being 21 makes me feel as if I may have missed the boat on learning all the 'norms' of dating both sexes. I have feelings for a friend of mine who is an 'out of the closet' lesbian, and I guess what I'm looking for are a few tips on how to ask her out when I am a newly realized bisexual. How should I go about it?
Clyde's Answer: The first thing you should do is somehow let the object of your affection know that you are bi-sexual, a slight name drop of a female sexy celebrity or a 'nice ass' compliment to your friend could help open the door. I would say that the next step is easy and could very well be your first step.
Think of the way you would want affections expressed to you and simply do the same to this femme fatale. For example, you could ask this certain someone out for coffee and while brunching on scones ask her out sometime, for a night date of course. Make your intentions clear, let her know you have been interested in getting to know her more for sometime and that a date would be nice.
If subtlety is not your forte, go all out John Cusack-style with a stereo over your head and some 4 Non-Blondes playing while voicing your affection and desire to go on a date with this woman. Either way, the best thing to do would just be to jump out of the plane and skydive the question her way.
Savio's Answer: I think that this scenario could work out in your favor. You are concerned about not knowing the 'social code' of being bisexual, yet you already have a close friend who is a lesbian. Plan a time to spend an afternoon with her in a relaxed, casual environment where you can ask the questions you seem to be too nervous to ask anyone else. Plus, this bonding time with that special someone could help her to realize that you are available and interested in pursuing something more than friendship with her.
Even if things don't work out and she doesn't have a mutual attraction to you, she would probably be willing to help you work out your sexuality issues in a way that doesn't require you to out yourself to everyone else around you unless you're ready.
You are still young, and will have plenty of time to catch up to those who figured out their attraction towards the ladies earlier on. I would just encourage taking your time to figure out what kind of relationship you would like to pursue, since you now are considering members of both sexes as potential significant others.