How to approach a lesbian at a bar?

Published on by CMe



How to approach a lesbian at a bar?

When it comes time for lesbian dating, the hardest part can be approaching someone you're interested in. After all, women aren't really taught at an early age how to pick up girls. But have no fear! You can approach that hot looking girl across the bar and start a conversation. Here's how.
  1. If you see someone who is interesting, go over to her and strike up a conversation. The easiest thing to do is to compliment her on something. "I really like your hair. Who cuts it?" or "Those are great shoes, where did you get them?" End with an open-ended question, so she has to engage with you.
  2. Don't just go up and offer to buy her a drink. Find something to talk about: the pool game, the band that's playing or last night's episode of The L Word.
  3. Make eye contact and smile. Try to seem confident, even if you aren't. Women respond to that.
  4. Be friendly and courteous. Even if you and she don't hit it off, she could have a friend that you like.
  5. Pay attention to how she reacts and respond accordingly. If you're sensing she's interested, try flirting a little. Tell her she has beautiful eyes or she's a good dancer.
  6. Don't be too pushy. After talking for a while, introduce yourself, say it was nice meeting her and excuse yourself and walk away. See if she approaches you later. Or you can return later to ask her to dance or say you enjoyed talking to her and would like her phone number.
  7. Try to find something that you have that she wants- information about tickets to a sold out show, the name of that new self-help book, an extra car phone charger that just happens to fit her phone- and get her number so you can call her about it later.
  8. Have a wing woman -- a friend who comes to the bar with you to boost your confidence and to check in with after you talk to someone.
  9. Congratulate yourself. No matter what the outcome, you took a risk and put yourself out there. Have a drink or a dance to celebrate.


  • Be yourself. Don't try to impress her with something about yourself that isn't true.
  • Set realistic expectations. Your goal should be to talk to someone, not to necessarily get her number or ask her on a date.
  • It can be easier to approach someone in a small group than a gorgeous woman standing by herself.
  • Have a card printed up with your name and phone number that you can give to people if they ask. 

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